First Roadkill

I've been driving in the USA for 4 years now. Tonight, as we were going back to Fort Wayne from East Lansing, I decided I wanted to drive (because I wanted to listen to my new CD... Matt and I have this agreement that anyone who drives can listen to what they want. Technically. Doesn't always work that way though.) his sort of brand new 2009 Jeep Patriot.

I was minding my own business on the highway, singing along to my new CD, when suddenly I saw the raccoon ambling in the middle of the road. I was like, SHIIIIIIITTTT! and swerved somewhat right (I know I know I'm not supposed to do that, but I wanted to avoid killing an innocent creature...). The raccoon probably panicked when it was my headlights heading 200mph (I'm sure it must've felt that fast for the raccoon!) right at it, and it veered right the same friggin' direction I was heading as well! Next thing I know, BOOM! and I felt the tyres run over its tiny little body.

M: "Honey you're not supposed to veer off the road when you see animals on the road! You're supposed to drive straight ahead and run into them!"

W: "I wasn't veering! Okay maybe just a little bit, but I didn't want to kill the raccoon!"

M: "Well you shouldn't, it's extremely dangerous."

W: "I realize that honey, but I know there weren't any other cars around me. I mean come on, it's friggin' 11pm, who's going to be out driving at this time except dumb kids like us?"

And then I started wondering... I suppose I could just run over a raccoon or a squirrel on the road no problem, other than the awful BOOM, I guess my car (and meself) will survive. But what if it's a deer on the road? And yes, deers are a common sight on the roads in these parts of the country. What the heck am I supposed to do?

W: "So honey, what should I do when I see a deer on the road? I mean seriously, am I supposed to just run straight into the deer? I don't know if I can actually do that when I see a deer..."

M: "No honey, you're supposed to try to hit the deer on the side of your car, don't try to hit the deer head-on because that will total your car. I mean deers are much bigger than your car (W thinking, are we talking elephants here or something?) so if you hit them straight on it could get real ugly."

W: "Alright, hit the deer on theside of car, not head-on. Gotcha. What if the deers decide to panic and veer off to one direction like the raccoon?"

M: "Deers just stay put usually. That's why there's the expression deer-caught-in-the-headlights. Honking at them helps too. That usually gets them out of their deer-caught-in-the-headlights trance and they'll move out of the way."

W: "Okay, hit them side on, not head-on, and honk at them. How about I just try to avoid hitting the deer altogether?"

M: "..."

(A few minutes later...)

W: "Do you think the raccoon's okay? I think I killed it."

M: "Well it might be okay, I think it just bounced off your wheels."

W: "Uh no honey, I'm pretty sure the left front wheels went over its body... I'm positive about that. I mean I felt the tyres go BA-BOOM like it was running over something. Oh man, I killed the raccoon! ='( "

M: "Honey don't worry about it."

W: "...if the raccoon hadn't moved from its spot at all it would've been fine."

Oh well... added one more roadkill to the highway.